Red1/You Have No Idea

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Started As Humour

  • When in the bank consultancy job in 1999, noticed that the oldies needed cheering up. Learnt up Numerology so that every lady in the room kept giving me their birthdays, their kids', their husbands', and some other strangers' birthdates for me to derive the birth numbers and then i looked up a numerology graph to tell them their secret life or peronalities.
    • Numerology was simpler than Palm-Reading which require really studying lots of literature before arriving at a simple idea to amuse the audience. Just get the birthday, reduce to a summary number, look up the graph, read from it, and watch their faces glow with amazement of its accuracy.
    • Notice that it is more dramatic when you stare them in the eyes and say, "You Have No Idea...", it either turn skepticsm to fanaticsm or boredom to deep interest and eventual roaring laughter.
    • Kept saying "You Have No Idea" until i notice that if i do not ever give any straight answer but a questioning mantra they kept staring on realising how true that mantra is.
  • When friends call me up, i only say "You Have No Idea" to any line they ask me or say in the phone. They usually laugh till they drop for i used to say it over and over again no matter what.

Became a universal truth

  • Kept repeating the successful mantra to almost every expert in any field, and they often get so tickled of the scheming truth of not knowing anything for sure, to be enrolled into that same basket of generalised dummies.
    • People usually feel more comfortable when you bring down any smartass in the room with that.
    • People feel more confortable when you make their dumbness a laughable matter.
  • Realised that no one in the world actually has any idea after all.
    • When people chanted about big words such as XML, Java, DotComs, Multimedia, OuterSpace, History, Politics, Poetry, Art, Truth, Future, Trends, ERP, Numerology they actually have no idea of what that field really entails and couldnt really provide 100% sure fire solutions mostly.
    • Consultancy cookbooks kept telling us to ask questions and play dumb rather than provide answers and prove that you re smart.
    • No get rich book ever got me rich
    • No pick up book ever helped me pick up the girls i prefer to pick up
    • No expert ever thought me anything spetacular even though i paid for it in cash and time.
  • At least i have an idea about this No Idea subject to have written so much on it already here. But what is the yardstick?

Having The Idea

  • Qualified by Intoxicating Passion. When you do not have that passion for something, then you are not considered to have any idea of it at all For example about Art. You cannot try to describe art academically. You have to get intoxicated while speaking about it. The voice within you speak with such conviction that even the ones listening to it are either moved or they move away from this madman.
  • Qualified by indulgence in its opposite.
    • About Art. You have to be suicidal to see Vincent Van Gogh in everything as he was.
    • About God. You have to be an athiest to believe in Him.
    • About Free Software. You have to be mad to even think about it.
    • About Open Source. You have to be evil.
    • About Life. You must not believe in Life Insurance if you wish to have it.
    • About Money. Do not believe in paper nor the IMF.
    • About Purpose. You have to take the journey.
    • About Death. You just have to stop thinking about it. No one has any idea of it.
    • About Creativity or Innovation. Cannot be studied of what is Past Tense. It is Future Tense.
    • About Change. You have to break the past and present beliefs. Highly undesired proposition.
    • About Education. You have to drop out of school.